England and America are two countries separated by a common language. – George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist & socialist

We speak the same language, the UK and America.  And yet… we don’t.

Take ‘Willy,’ for example.  To us, it’s short for William.  To the English, however, it‘s a male’s… manly appendage.  So you can see why the British find the film title “Free Willy” so amusing.

Then there’s ‘shag.’  In the U.S., a shag is either (1) thick-pile 1970s carpeting or (2) a 1970s haircut, as made famous by Jane Fonda in “Klute” and David Cassidy in “The Partridge Family.”  In the UK, a shag is – well – two people ‘having a quickie,’ or a bit of “Afternoon Delight.”

The Shag is also a peculiarly American beach dance that originated in the Carolinas; in fact, the dance was featured in the 80s movie, “Shag,” starring Phoebe Cates, Bridget Fonda, and Annabeth Gish.  (Another of our movie titles that the Brits must find amusing.)

Bum – In America, a bum is someone who shuns work (and usually soap, as well).  A bum can be male, or female.  Hence the phrase, ‘can I bum a pack of cigarettes from you?’  In England, however, a bum is a male or female’s rear end.  So no matter how you define it, a ‘bum’ is not a very nice term in either country. (I say – you Brits are a naughty lot.)

Arse – We say ‘ass,’ they say ‘arse.’ The meaning is the same.  However, the British also use “arse” to express reluctance to do something:  ‘I should walk the dog, but I can’t be arsed.’

Pants – We call them slacks, or ‘pants.’  The Brits call them ‘trousers.’  They call underwear ‘pants,’ and we call undies… undies.  But they also call pants ‘knickers.’  It’s all very confusing.  Just wear a skirt (or for you men, a kilt) and you can avoid the whole linguistic nightmare.

Dongle – Ha ha, fooled you. ‘Dongle’ isn’t a British term, it’s a techno-geek word that means a USB device used for security purposes.  But it always makes me snicker, especially when a grown man says “Has anyone seen my dongle?”

Perhaps you should ask Willy?

Actually, we’re not so different, the English and the Americans.  Yes, there was that little disagreement back in 1776; but we’ve moved on since then, surely?  We all pull our pants – er, trousers – on one leg at a time.  We laugh at the same things.  (Come to think of it, we don’t, always.  Carry On?  The Inbetweeners? Charles Hawtrey, French and Saunders… mention any of those, and you’ll get a blank look from the average American.)

We’re divided by some things, united by others. The English love American television shows, and we Americans can’t get enough of British programs (or ‘programmes’).  We all adore Downton Abbey.  We’re the same, but different – rather like men and women.  And that’s okay.  It keeps things interesting.

As those cheeky French would say, “Vive la difference!”