… ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS THAT I HATE:
1. The office Christmas party. Is there anything worse? Cold-cut platter and warm white wine, anyone? And did Larry from accounting really just twerk the boss’s wife on the dance floor??
2. The sight of all those unsold, unwanted Christmas trees after the holiday is over.
3. Eggnog. I detest it. There isn’t enough brandy in the world to make it taste good.
4. Fruitcake. Ditto.
5. The 999th showing of “A Christmas Story” on TV, and the inevitable marathon on TNT and TBS. Don’t get me wrong – I love the movie. I just don’t want to watch it 500 times on a continuous loop, please. Thank you.
6. The office gift exchange. Thanks so much for yet another Chia Pet/bottle of cheap white wine/DVD of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” that I already have/don’t want/don’t need. Hey – but at least I can reuse the gift bag.
7. Snow. And driving in the snow in DC. Enough said.
8, Knowing that all of the stuff that I buy as presents for my nieces, nephews, and grandkids – all of the “they really, really want this race set/Leapfrog pad/Barbie Duck Dynasty doll” – will end up discarded and forgotten in short order, consigned to a yard sale or the garden shed or the waste bin. Ask the average kid “What did you get last Christmas?” and you’ll receive a blank stare…because they honestly don’t remember. This year, they’re all getting books. Done.
9. Those car ads. You know the ones. Couple wakes up to a beautiful, snowy morning. Guy hands wife a key. She rushes to the window to see a gleaming red Audi/Jaguar/SUV in the driveway. With a huge bow, of course. Because nothing says ‘Christmas’ like a new car.
10. Spending the holidays thinking about the people who once mattered to me who are now gone from my life. The ones who left, or died. With so much joy and celebration all around, it can be very sad-making. It definitely makes the holidays bittersweet.
… ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS THAT I LOVE:
1. The Salvation Army bell-ringers. I know we like to grouse about the presence of these folks and their black kettles standing guard outside every Wal-Mart in town; yes, it’s a pain in the ass to stop and dig around in your purse for a spare dollar or two when your arms are loaded with stuff. But my hat is off to these men and women who collect our change and use it to help those who are down on their luck – which, these days, includes a lot of people.
2. Watching “Love Actually“. Again. Because it’s the perfect Christmas film – sad, sweet, funny – and because it’s just not Christmas without it.
3. Singing along to Christmas songs. Whether it’s Bing Crosby crooning “Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy” with David Bowie (now that was an odd combination, but it worked) or Nat King Cole singing “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire,” I adore listening to Christmas music. Nothing can bring back memories – good, bad, or somewhere in between – like songs by Bing or Andy or Perry. (Or Alvin and Simon and Theodore.)
4. Baking cookies. I make all of them – peanut butter cookies with a Hershey’s kiss or Reese’s cup pressed in the middle; chocolate chip cookies with (and without) nuts (I remembered you this year, Megan!); sugar-dusted pecan crescents; cranberry-oatmeal cookies; and richly decadent, dark-chocolate brownies studded with walnuts.
5. “A Christmas Story”. It’s a love/hate thing. It’s just not Christmas without Ralphie.
6. The Christmas service at church. The candlelit faces of the children’s choir singing ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’ – it’s moving and beautiful and it gets me, every time.
7. Snow. What can I say, it’s another love/hate thing. (See #5.) There’s nothing prettier when you look out the window than freshly-fallen snow (and nothing more welcome when you really don’t want to go in to work the next day).
8. Wrapping presents. Yeah. Weird, huh? But with a nice Christmas movie on the TV, or some festive music playing on the stereo, a cup of hot cocoa at hand (or better yet, a glass of Baileys), I’m in gift-wrapping Nirvana. There’s something very soothing and Zen about folding, taping, and smoothing all of the colorful wrapping paper, imagining the excited faces of the recipients as they tear their presents open.
9. Watching “The Family Stone”. When Sarah Jessica Parker gets drunk and dances to Maxine Nightingale’s “Right Back Where We Started From,” I laugh. Every time.
10. It’s Christmas, for crying out loud. Enjoy it. Embrace it. And be glad you have a few days off to celebrate with the ones you love – whether it’s your office mates, your frat brothers, your next door neighbors, or your family. Treasure and hold every memory as tightly as you can.
And please – give that fruitcake and eggnog to someone else. Okay?
♥♥♥
Prada and Prejudice (my first book!) is available for pre-order now!
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