I was recently reading one of those fashion magazine ‘Do and Don’t’ lists. You know the ones – DO wear white in winter, as long as it’s wool, not seersucker! DON’T pair a baggy top with baggy jeans! – and I thought, why not write a list of writer’s do’s and don’ts?
So here’s my list. It’s short, but (I hope) concise.
Don’t write at Starbucks or Panera. It’s too distracting. And you’ll gain weight from all those high-calorie coffee drinks and pastries. Find somewhere quiet and pastry-free instead…like the library.
Don’t expect a thunderbolt of inspiration to strike and give you the entire plot of your next book, or even the next scene. It won’t. But sometimes a good idea will come to you on the treadmill. Or in the shower. Or even in the grocery store. Keep a little pocket notebook and jot stuff down as it occurs (unless you’re in the shower, in which case, never mind).
Don’t use adjectives to death. A little adjectivity goes a long way.
Don’t say, ‘he said,’ ‘she snapped,’ or ‘he retorted’ every time someone utters a sentence. Just write what he or she said, and be done with it. See below.
Don’t say, ‘he was angry’ or ‘she was sad.’ Instead, show him hurling a lamp at the wall, show her curled up on the sofa, crying. Your English teachers were right. Show, don’t tell.
Do make frequent use of reference books like the Oxford English Dictionary, Roget’s Thesaurus, The Elements of Style, and the Chicago Manual of Style. If in doubt, look it up.
Do write what you want to write, not what you think some editor in New York wants to read. Every writer has his or her own unique voice. Find yours, and use it.
Do get a good friend, whose opinion you trust and who won’t blow smoke up your ass, to read your work and tell you, honestly, what they think. Then listen.
Do take a familiar trope – for instance, a girl disguises herself as a boy – and turn it on its head. What if a young man disguises himself as a woman to (a) escape some dangerous gangsters and (b) get closer to the girl he’s sweet on? There you have the classic comedy plot of Some Like it Hot by Billy Wilder.
Do remember that your path to becoming a writer is your own. No two paths are the same. Not sure whether to publish independently or to try the traditional route? There’s nothing that says you can’t do both.
Don’t be discouraged by the occasional one- or two-star review. Everyone gets ’em, even best-selling authors. You can’t please everyone. As Dita Von Tease says, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
Don’t think that writing leads to fame, fortune, or column inches in The Washington Post. It might, eventually, lead to all of those things and more; but the odds are, it won’t. Write for no other reason than because you love to write.
Don’t get so caught up in blogging that you forget your real focus – writing.
Finally, don’t forget to return the favor to your fellow writers, bloggers, and book reviewers. If they’re kind enough to reTweet you, share your post on Facebook, or review your book on their blog, for God’s sake, pay it forward. Return the favor. Feature them on your blog, offer to be a beta reader, reTweet their book link. Be supportive – you’ll never be sorry.
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