Getting published isn’t easy. If it were, there’d be a LOT more books out there, clogging up the bookshelves.
Writing a book is the easy part. It’s what comes afterwards that makes you wonder why you ever bothered in the first place.
I’ve come to the conclusion that you have to be a bit of a masochist to be a writer. You spend a lot of time in your unpublished writer’s void waiting… waiting to land an agent / hear back from a publisher / see your work in print. More often than not, you hear nothing. (Cue the sound of crickets chirping.)
When you DO hear back, mixed in with the “we love its” and “you’re the next Sophie Kinsella,” you will mostly get criticism. It’s good, but the pace drags at the end. It’s good, but can we make the heroine American instead of English? It’s good, but can you rewrite the entire thing… by next week?
So you make the changes. You polish, perfect, and prune your prose. You ruthlessly delete entire scenes (never get too attached to your sentences and paragraphs – every word is expendable). Then you send it off… and you wait.
You get very good at the waiting game.
Besides writing a book, to be traditionally published, you need an agent. You need a presence on Twitter, or Facebook, or Goodreads (or, preferably, all three). It helps if you have a website and/or a blog. You need to be able to work with an agent or an editor to provide the revisions they request – and you need to turn those revisions around quickly.
And your book has to be good. Not just “My aunt Fanny Fribblestein read my story and said it was better than 50 Shades of Grey” good, but “the editor at XYZ Publishing wants to buy my book NOW” good. It has to have a hook, and great characters, a tight plot, and a point. It can’t just meander aimlessly for 400 pages.
Now, having said those things, here are my Top Five Things Never to Say to an Unpublished Writer:
- So… are you published yet?
- Oh, anyone can write a book. I’d write one myself, if I just had the time.
- Oh, you write romance novels, eh? (This is typically said with a sneer, a smirk, or a little moué of distaste.)
- I wrote a story. Read it and lemme know what you think. Oh, and if you see any mistakes, go ahead and fix ‘em, okay? (You’re a writer; you’re probably good at that grammar stuff.)
- Tell me… do writers make a lot of money?
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- No. If I was published, don’t you think I would’ve, maybe, mentioned it? Worked it into the conversation? Or maybe taken an ad out in the Washington Post or arranged for a flash mob in the middle of Dupont Circle? Just saying.
- Go ahead – write a book. Write a book while holding down a full-time job, keeping a house clean and a husband happy, maintaining a social media presence, and producing a blog every week. Then get back to me on how easy it all is.
- Yeah, I write romance novels. I’m doing some research, as a matter of fact. (Raises brow suggestively and winks.) Wanna help me with that, big boy?
- I’m sure your story is riveting. While I love to read, two things: (a) I have my own book to write, a revision to complete, a blog post to finish by Sunday, a massive pile of laundry to wash, and (b) I am not an editor. More specifically, I am not YOUR editor. Correct your own damn mistakes.
- I’m sure they do… if their name is Stephen King or Michael Chabon or Jonathan Franzen. Is my name Stephen or Michael or Jonathan? (No.) Am I still working a day job? (Yes.) You do the math.
So the next time you talk to an unpublished writer, remember – handle us with care. Or we might just write you into our next book… and kill you off on page 10.
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