Dear Diary,
Quite some time has gone by since my last entry – eight months, to be exact – and I’m still unpublished. And that’s a bit of a disappointment.
But while I hope to see publication eventually (preferably before I die), I refuse to call myself an “aspiring writer” any longer. Because, you see, I already AM a writer. I don’t hope to be a writer; I don’t plan to become a writer someday; I AM a writer, right here, right now.
I write a weekly blog which, surprisingly enough, has proven to be pretty popular. The ongoing adventures of Alex and Dana, the nasty interior monologues from my Inner Bitch, and the exploits of my husband, Mr. Oliver… all have earned me a lovely, loyal readership.
And although I know my writing is occasionally uneven – some weeks are definitely better than others – I’m proud to put a blog out every week, honing my craft (as they say), and gaining readers who tell me they like what I write. And that’s more than enough to keep me going when every publisher in New York is saying, “We like your manuscript… but we don’t love it.”
I’ve been told chick lit is dead. I’ve been told my main character, Holly, is too British for Americans. Americans, they tell me, don’t like British heroes or heroines. (So what was all that “Bridget Jones” stuff just a few years ago?? Just saying.)
So, okay, I’ve made Holly an American. I’ve made her younger, to skew to the YA genre. I’ve changed things around so much that sometimes I scarcely recognize the story – or the heroine – I started out with.
But that’s okay. Accepting and acting on criticism – especially informed editorial criticism – is part of being a professional writer. One can’t expect to be published without taking in and acting on legitimate criticism from people who know what they’re talking about.
Of course, I’ve dug my heels in once or twice. Clean up my potty-mouthed chef Russo”s foul language? No *@&!# way. Chef Russo wouldn’t be Russo without his expletives and his sharply-honed mean streak. I mean, who ever heard of a nice chef?
That’s not to say I don’t get discouraged. I had the naive idea that once I landed an agent, publication would soon follow. My book would climb up the bestseller lists, win me fame and fortune, and I’d soon be drinking champagne with Judd Apatow and Hugh Dancy, after signing off on a lucrative Hollywood film deal… (Hey, it’s my fantasy, okay? Let me have my dreams. Please. They’re all I’ve got right now.)
Maybe it does work out that way for some writers, sometimes. But mostly it’s a long, hard slog of submitting, getting rejected, reading editorial comments (which are extremely helpful), and revising, revising, revising.
Each time I revise my manuscript, I know it’s better than the last time. I know the plot is stronger, the conflict is deeper, the suspense more… suspenseful. My characters – especially Sasha, the backstabbing bane of Holly’s existence – are more layered, less surface-y than they were starting out. When I read through my manuscript with a critical eye, if I find my attention wandering, I know that means one thing – it’s time to cut, revise, and/or re-think the text.
Because if a paragraph or a page in my story isn’t holding my attention, how the hell can I hope to hold an editor’s attention? Or a reader’s attention?
Short answer? I can’t.
Maybe the writing could be better, or the plot is lacking, or the dialogue is flat and lackluster, or I’ve used way too many adjectives, or… well, you get the idea.
There’s always, always room for improvement.
One thing I’ve found very helpful is to read my story aloud, especially the dialogue. What looks right on the page doesn’t always sound right when spoken. Beta readers are great, too. (Thank you, Karen, Jane, and Michael!) They offer opinions, advice, suggestions – some good, some not so much – but their feedback is invaluable, and it’s something every writer needs in order to get better.
The bottom line? I refuse to give up in my quest to be published. Maybe I’ll realize my dream, and maybe I won’t. At least I know I’m giving it my best shot, and that I’ve become a much better writer along the way.
What more could an aspiring writer ask for? (Well, aside from publication and a lucrative Hollywood film deal, that is…)
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