I love classic television shows like “That Girl,” “Rhoda,” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” Who can forget the opening sequence, when Mary Richards throws her cap triumphantly into the cold Minneapolis air? It was a gesture of freedom, of success, of telling the world, “Hey – I’m gonna make it after all!” I loved that Anne-Marie, Rhoda, and Mary conquered the big city on their own terms, and found successful careers – as well as romance – in the process.
Then along came newer, more sophisticated programs, shows like “Sex and the City” – glamorous and frank, but not exactly representative of the kind of lives most women lead (a closet full of Manolos and Prada? Wearing a tutu on the streets of New York? Riiiight.). But we loved it anyway. And now we have HBO’s “The Girls,” a gritty, funny, painfully honest look at life for a whole new generation of budding Carries, Samanthas, Charlottes, and Mirandas.
Young women of today are much savvier than I ever was. They know how to wear makeup, how to dress stylishly and still maintain their individuality, how to navigate the tricky world of dating and sex and relationships. I think they’ve grown up faster, in part because the world they inhabit today is far more complicated and challenging than it was in Mary, Rhoda, or Anne-Marie’s day. (Or in mine, for that matter.)
But whether it’s the sixties, seventies, eighties or the present, young women embarking on shiny new lives will always want to make their mark, find their passion, eventually find lasting love… and maybe score a great sale on shoes.
I mean, is that so much to ask??
Sometimes I think back to the girl I used to be, fresh out of school, unattached, not knowing what the future held – but convinced it would be amazing. In some ways, I was fearless – give the cute guy I just met at a party my phone number? Like, sure! – Go for a walk in the rain without an umbrella? So romantic… – Take a course in creative writing AND English lit at the same time, even though I worked and knew I’d be up until midnight getting my assignments done? – No problem!
I miss that fearlessness in myself. My older, over-cautious self would never leave the house without an umbrella or give my number out to a stranger or over-extend myself beyond what I can comfortably handle. I know better. And I know my limits.
In other ways, however, I’m glad I’m not the girl I used to be. Because that girl was shy and lacked confidence, convinced that everything she did or said was watched and judged and somehow found lacking.
If I had a pimple, I was certain everyone at school saw it and snickered behind my back. If I had to make a speech in class, I’d get so nervous I’d make myself sick to the stomach – or even pretend to be sick so I could stay home and avoid the ordeal entirely. I hid my insecurities behind long hair and books and plaid flannel shirts.
I feel a great tenderness for that girl. I wish I could put my arm around her now and say, “It’ll all be okay, you know. You’ll be fine. You’re smart. You have a great imagination. You’ve got a lot of love to give, and a lot of people will love you back. Some won’t. So what? Believe in yourself. Don’t be afraid; take chances. But don’t be reckless, either. Just… be kind. And be yourself.”
That’s exactly what I’d say to that girl.
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