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Two Become Three

In theory, threesomes are a great idea. (No, I don’t mean THAT kind of threesome.) I’m talking about three friends who share their secrets, dreams, and hopes for the future.

They might be school friends, or coworkers. They meet, connect, and form a bond – a bond which sometimes lasts a lifetime.

There are many examples of famous ‘threes’ in literature and film – The Three Musketeers, The Three Stooges, My Three Sons, and The Three Amigos, to name just a few.  Story tropes are often built around the idea of three – the three little pigs, three wishes, three evil stepsisters, the three heads of Cerberus; and flower arrangers group blooms in threes, or fives, or sevens… because odd amounts (like three) add a visual appeal and asymmetry that even-numbered amounts lack.

But sometimes, the power of three goes wrong. For instance, say that you’re good friends with Mary; then you meet Susan.  ‘Wow,’ you think, ‘Mary and Susan would really hit it off.  They both love kale chips and Soul Cycling and power-walking.  Maybe I’ll introduce them!’

And so you do.  And Mary does like Susan… a lot.  And suddenly, you find yourself outside the magic circle of three.  They’re power-walking and Soul Cycling, all right… without you.  You’ve become a poster child for the equation, “three minus one equals two.”  And frankly, it sucks.

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Now Mary and Susan are Tweeting, and meeting up, and shopping… and leaving you out.  You’re indignant.  After all, you introduced those two!  How rude!  So you get mad.  Or you sniff and tilt your chin up and pretend that you don’t care in the least.  But of course you do care.  And deep down, you’re hurt.

We’ve all been there.  Whether in grade school, or high school, the workplace, or yes, even on Twitter, at one time or another, most of us have ended up the odd man (or woman) out.  And it isn’t much fun.

The best way to handle it is to shrug it off and let it go. Seek out a new friend. (And whatever you do, don’t introduce your new friend to any of your other friends. Just saying.) Even better, work your hurt and jealousy into a story. Use it. Write about three sisters, once close, who become seriously divided over a guy, or the Civil War, or a stray cat with magical powers, or whatever.

Because everything that happens to you – the good, the bad, and the in-between – is what makes you uniquely you, and shapes you into your ever-evolving self. Plumb the depths of your anger, jealousy, or grief, and write it into the emotional landscape of your story.

Eventually, Mary and Susan will have a falling out. Maybe Susan didn’t share her kale chips. Or maybe Mary begged off on a power-walk… for the second time in a row. (Or maybe Susan found out Mary was having a fling with her husband.) They quarrel and drift apart.

And you? You’ll find, as you sit with a pad and a pen or a laptop in front of you, that one really isn’t the loneliest number.

After all, if you’re a writer, you can create your own characters, your own stories – even your own worlds.

And Mary, and Susan…? Well, let’s just hope they fall off their collective Soul Cycles. Theoretically, of course.